Is my writing any good? - brute ear guards
I know last week and did not really understand how great or good or not, so please read and tell me what it seems, spelling and grammar corrections are welcome:) thank you!
As the end of the world, I swear I will die before they can cause pain for me to impose. Death can handle, is another problem that makes it difficult to breathe.
"Three minutes, honey" My best friend Christian whispers in my ear. Three minutes before the guards returned to the front and on the ground with us. Three minutes to go, the rescue package and get the Hell Outta Ecuador.
Christian Count to ten, whispers that the lips of every issue, then "Go".
As the sprint from the chain link fence, Christian grabs a hold of the top and flows. N I for my part IOT a huge beast. Unfortunately, I am 5ft 2in and a lot of hatred. I'm as high as possible can go and rest. Christian is already at work, open the door to its hinges wood. To open the stamp on the shoulder and jingles. I stay on the side of the door, whispering to Christian clear ". My heart was beating so hard and fast that my vision was blurred.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Brute Ear Guards Is My Writing Any Good?
3 comments:
Awesome: D
Can you please answer my question, I need your opinion?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index? ...
It's great!
But in the last line, instead of saying
"My heart was beating so hard and so fast that my vision blurred."
say,
"My heart pounded deep into my chest so that my vision is too indefinite and vague. The dove was strong in my ears, all rhythmic echoes in my head, and each strike as devastating as the previous one."
Hope this helps, but the letter seriously, that was great!
Lips is very good, but maybe instead of "maybe" would be on any subject "mouth every issue," more appropriate. And they could probably have two sets, so it could be something like: Unfortunately, I am a giant raw - but 5'2.
It is generally quite good. ;)
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